D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Divorce is not a dirty word.

I admit - I've been hiding from it. Nearly three years - two since we really stopped trying to pretend we were going to work it out - and yet we're still legally married. I thought about filing once; even made an appointment with a lawyer but he talked me out of it. Said he really didn't want it to end that way. So tell me - how would you like it to end?I didn't ask that. Maybe I should have.

So what's changed? A lot of things. I'm starting to realize how much better off I am without him, for one. Being with him was like having blinders on; the view of the world he wanted me to have was narrow. I have the support of friends who are just mine, and not ours. I have someone who loves me for who I am, and not who they can make me into. I'm free. Except for that pesky little piece of paper. I'm taking care of that, though.

It will be final by the time the new man in my life - the voice on the end of the line who has awakened the love inside of me which I have denied for far too long, the face in the photo which brightens my day, the spark of hope which ignited the fire which set me free - sets foot on American soil.

I love him already, and that is a priceless gift. I've started to believe in love again.