Jokes

My Nephew is six years old, in first grade, and has recently developed a deep and abiding love of telling jokes. Usually he just makes them up as he goes along. His favorite joke at the moment goes something like 'What did the cow say to the farmer?' (You reply: I don't know, what?) 'Moo!'

Once in awhile he starts trying to retell a joke he's heard from his teenage brothers. More often than not this just scares me, because I never know just what kind of joke this was in the first place, but I often suspect it was something he should not have heard and hopefully didn't fully understand.

Every morning, as I'm taking him to school, we listen to a radio program which features a lot of chatter and jokes which are usually mild enough for him. They don't all make sense to him, but they don't all make sense to me, either.

Anyway, the one this morning struck me as particularly funny.


A woman and her daughter spent the day shopping together for the perfect dress for her to wear as mother-of-the bride at the daughter's wedding next month. They had wonderful luck and emerged from the day ecstatic over the purchase, having found "the perfect dress".

The next weekend the daughter visited her dad and the woman he was dating (who was, of course, considerably younger than her mother). She was appalled when her father's girlfriend showed her the dress she was planning to wear to the wedding. It was identical to the one they had just bought for her mother!

The daughter tells the girlfriend what has happened and asks her to return it to the store and choose something else. "I certainly will NOT", the girlfriend replied, "I look absolutely stunning in this dress...it shows off my fabulous figure and the color accentuates my suntan perfectly. No way am I taking it back!"

Heartsick, the daughter broke the bad news to her mother, who responded, "No problem, honey, I'll wear something else. This will be the most special day of your life, and I want it to be absolutely perfect for you."

"Mom, you're the greatest . . . so understanding and supportive. I sure hope you don't have any trouble getting a refund on the dress."

"Oh, I'm not returning the dress", the mother answered. "I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner!"

The radio program is called Radio Caffeine and it airs on 97.3 WDEE (Northern Michigan)

'tis the season

At the moment, I would have to say that the following song by Jackson Browne is my favorite modern Christmas song. It isn't a sacred hymn or a Christmas carol by the standards of most people, but it strikes a chord in me and makes me think. Think about God, think about society, and of course, the reason for the season.

It's available on his Greatest Hits CD, but the version I like the most was recorded with The Chieftains for the 'The Bells of Dublin' CD. This CD is, by the way, my favorite Christmas collection of all time. I suppose my love for traditional Irish music has plenty of influence on that, but there is just something very special about this album. If you get the chance to give it a listen, I highly recommend it.

'The Rebel Jesus' by Jackson Browne

All the streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season
And the merchants windows are all bright
With the faces of the children
And the families hurrying to their homes
As the sky darkens and freezes
Theyll be gathering around the hearths and tales
Giving thanks for all Gods graces
And the birth of the rebel Jesus

Well they call him by the prince of peace
And they call him by the savior
And they pray to him upon the seas
And in every bold endeavor
As they fill his churches with their pride and gold
And their faith in him increases
But theyve turned the nature that I worshipped in
From a temple to a robbers den
In the words of the rebel Jesus

We guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when christmas comes
We give to our relations
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why they are poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus

But please forgive me if I seem
To take the tone of judgement
For Ive no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment
In this life of hardship and of earthly toil
We have need for anything that frees us
So I bid you pleasureAnd I bid you cheer
From a heathen and a pagan
On the side of the rebel Jesus.


What does Christmas mean to you?

Today I fell in love....

With a song. I occassionally like to buy a magazine called 'Paste' (Signs of life in music, film and culture) and in that magazine comes a sampler CD of different artists, different musical styles, things which I might not have been exposed to otherwise. Usually, I enjoy the CD, I might find a new artist to keep my eyes and ears open for, but this was the first time I found a song which struck such a chord with me that I couldn't stop thinking about it. Until today. (This was from the September '06 edition)

This song is titled 'Light up ya lighter' by Michael Franti & Spearhead and is from the album 'Yell Fire!'

Now, I haven't had the chance to check out any of his other music yet, but I've looked up some information on him on the web and have found myself fascinated.

http://www.spearheadvibrations.com/index.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Franti

Here are the lyrics to
Lyrics to Light Up Ya Lighter by Michael Franti and Spearhead

Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter,
fire fire fire Armageddon is a deadly day,
Armageddon is a deadly way
They commin for you everyday,
While Senators on holiday

The Army recruiters in the parking lot,
Hustling kids there jugglin pot
Listen young man,
Listen to my plan ,
Gonna make you money,
gonna make you a man

Bom Bom

Here’s what you get,
An M-16 and a Kevlar vest
You might come home with one less leg,
But this thing will surely keep a bullet out of your chest

So Come on Come on, Sign up, Come on
This one’s nothing like Vietnam
Except for the bullets, Except for the bombs,
Except for the youth that’s gone

Chorus So we keep it on, til ya coming home,
Higher and Higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter,
fire fire fire, so we keep it on Til ya commin home,
higher and higher Fire, fire, fire,
light up ya lighter, fire fire fire

Tell me President tell if you will,
How many people does a smart bomb kill
How many of em do you think we got,
The General says we never miss a shot
And we never ever ever keep a body count,
we killin so efficiently we can’t keep count
In the Afghan hills the rebels still fightin,
Opium fields keep providin
The best heroin that money can buy
and nobody knows where Osama bin hidin
The press conferences keep on lyin like we don’t know

Some say engine engine number nine,
Machine guns on a New York transit line
The war for oil is a war for the beast,
the war on terror is a war on peace
Tellin you they’re gonna protect you,
Tellin you that they support the troops
Don’t let them fool you with their milk and honey,
No they only want your money
One step forward and two steps back,
Why do veterans get no respect
PTSD and a broken back,
Take a look at where your moneys gone seen
Take a look at what they spend it on
No excuses, No illusions

Light up ya lighter

Something to think about

Sometimes, love is less about what you are willing to do and more about what you are willing not to do.

- L.A. Watkins

U2 by U2

So, I've been lamenting the fact that I thought I was not going to get a copy of the book 'U2 by U2' which I really wanted, but between being short on cash and living in a location where I have to drive quite a distance to get to a bookstore, it seemed impossible. I figured maybe sometime in November, as a late birthday gift, or as a Christmas present. But this afternoon, my sister and I went up to a small bookstore ina town about a 45 minute drive north of where we live. I didn't think they would have it, so when I saw it I was so shocked and excited I actually shouted out loud.

There was ONE copy of it, and I snatched it up and was following my sister around as she looked around at books for herself. Then the clerk came back with these older people and they were looking all over for something, and he was like 'The records in the computer say we have one copy - it hasn't sold yet' and My sister told me I should ask if that was what they were looking for, but I thought it would be rude to taunt them if it WAS what they wanted. I knew for sure that I wasn't giving it up!

But they just stayed there and kept looking, so finally, I was like "are you looking for U2 by U2?"they were like ' yeah' all excited and she looked like she thought she could negotiate for it, but I think she realized her error when she saw the crazed fan-girl look in my eyes which said 'you can have it if you can pry it out of my cold dead hands!'

My sister said I should've used the argument that whoever Bono had kissed should get the book. (He kissed me on the cheek when I met him back in September of 2005) But I had to argue, because Bono has kissed a lot of people!

Needless to say the clerk immediately went to order more copies of it, since it came out on Tuesday and had already sold out. I felt bad that they went away empty handed, but they said they would be traveling to Florida soon, and I figure if they travel a lot (which I don't) they will have more places they can go to get it, and they obviously had the money to spare, which I didn't. $40 is quite a chunk out of my meager budget, but my passion for U2 wins out over smaller needs like food and medicine. ;)

Teaser

This is a teaser for one of the stories I am currently working on.



It’s you. Everybody always assumes it’s the one who gets all the glory, all the power. They’re wrong, though. You’re the voice in his ear. You stay safely in the shadows, just out of sight. It’s always the quiet ones. Ha! If only people knew just how true that cliché could be.

He’s one of the most influential people in the world, and he’s your pawn.

I’ve always known there was something about you… something more.

And now that I know, what exactly am I supposed to do about it? What can I do but watch? If I look closely, I bet I can even see the strings. Master puppetter that you are, there are some signs that can be seen. If only a person knows just what it is they’re looking for.

I know, now. And I’m watching.

New World

I was just going through an old journal from 2001 and came across a poem I wrote. It seemed appropriate to share



New World 9-11-01

I wondered, at first, if I was dreaming.
It certainly didn’t seem like anything real.
The world I’ve known, been raised in, is gone
And my heart is too numb to feel.
As I realize this isn’t a nightmare
But I am only just now waking
From the dream which kept me from knowing
what they could be taking
Now, I’m wide awake,
Awake and fully aware
And now, for the first time
I know what it is to be scared.
Gone, the mirage of security,
Shattered the glass walls which surround
As we, a whole nation of people
Are sent tumbling to the ground.
Yet, though we may fall, again
Again we will rise to be righted
For we are one nation, together
In our differences, united

On a lighter note....

Today being a bit of a challenge for me, emotionally, I think it's time to focus on some light, fun stuff with which to occupy my mind.

Continuing the theme of 'my favorite things':

In my opinion, the three best movies of the year so far:
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
X3: the last stand
16 Blocks

Three movies on my "best of all time" list:
The Crow
28 days later
The jacket

Three of my all-time favorite actors:
Johnny Depp
Brendan Fehr
Gerry Butler

Three of my all-time favorite actresses:
Natalie Portman
Diane Lane
Jennifer Lopez

favorite childhood movie:
Walt Disney's Robin Hood


celebrities

Which celebrities are you currently obsessed with?
All members of the Band U2
Actor Brendan Fehr
Footballer David Beckham
Actor Orlando Bloom

If you could have dinner with any celebrity, past or present, who would it be?
Bono! Without a doubt.
The man has everything; he knows how to party but he's also concerned with doing good for the people in the world who most people would rather ignore and forget. He's sexy, fun, smart and last but not least, Irish! I could listen to him talk for hours and hours. Plus, he is sincere and genuinely friendly to people no matter what their station in life. He doesn't have his head up his own arse, as he would say. :)


If I were going to be stranded on a desert Island and could have only three albums to listen to they would be:
U2- Achtung Baby
Greenday - American Idiot
Bowling for soup - a hangover you don't deserve

My personal motto

~ The only thing harder to let go of than love is hate.

This is something I have learned through my own experiences, but believe me when I say letting go of that hate is the best thing you can ever do for yourself! It's like drinking poison to keep hate inside of you.

More poetry

A call from the wilderness

My God, My God I search for thee
In every face and every deed
I love you and I fear you
I listen but do I hear you?
Why, God, Am I?
Am I what you want me to be?
How do I know?
Where do I go?
To see you, hear you, feel you
How do I know what you want of me?
How do I know what that is?
I love you God and I know that you love me
But the questions are still there
And you are everywhere
So I ask you, God, to guide me
And to ever be beside me.



All around

A friend asked me once, 'how do you know that God is real?'
And I told her I could only testify to the way I feel.
I hear a child laughing, feel a cool breeze on my face
I see a flower growing and I know God has touched this place.
I see the moon and all the stars , far too m any to keep count
I hear the waves against the shore and I know He is about.
God smiles at me in the autumn leaves and again in the setting sun
He waves hello with a gentle breeze; yes I see God in all the things he’s done.
He is with me everywhere, I need not look too far.
I hear a bird singing, and my heart says “God there you are.”
He is in me, in you; God is all around
He brought you to me and I will not let him down
God is here, beside you.
Can you see him now?
His love echoes in all creation.
Can you hear the sound?
People talking, music in the air...
You ask me where God is, and I say God is everywhere.



Faith

The snow is falling gently outside my window,
I can tell that it is cold,
but it is warm here with him,
he makes me whole.

It may rain, or sleet, or howling winds might stir;
but nothing on the outside can disturb
the warmth, the peace, the quiet inside
for I have heard His word.

Though the floods may threaten,
though the thunder may resound,
Nothing will ever take away
this Peace that I have found.

This world may try it’s best
to change my belief,
but try as they might,
God is my relief.

So outside it may threaten,
to rage and to storm;
no matter how cold the world,
I know God will keep me warm

These are a few of my favorite things....

I realized today that I spend a lot of time looking for inspiration for my stories.

I am also one of the most opinionated people I know. ;)

As such I decided I would create a spot online where I can share my musings, collect some of the things which spark my imagination and generally just say whatever I feel like. It's my blog, after all, and if you don't like it... well then, why are you here? :)

Let's see...

Favorite Music is an easy one; I'm a huge U2 fan. I had the incredible opportunity to see them in concert five times on their most recent 'vertigo' tour. I've also been fortunate enough to meet all of the band members except for the drummer, Larry Mullen Jr. I hope to change that, though, someday.

Their music covers so many topics and styles and genres - it transcends any sort of definition or pigeon-holing. You can't explain their music in one word, or even one sentence. That is precisely why I adore them so very much.

I have a deep interest in every type of music; I love Johnny Cash and Miles Davis, U2 and George Winston, Harry Connick Jr and Andrea Bocelli. I'm particularly interested in Celtic traditional music at the moment, as well, and have discovered rock-style groups with heavy Celtic folk influences, such as the Pogues and Flogging Molly. If you peek into my CD player you're fairly likely to find the work of an Irish band.

One thing I look for in music, as in just about anything in life, is that it sparks my imagination. The things which do this most vividly are my favorite things; and the products of my imagination I think of as my Emerald Sparks.

My Poetry

Darkness and daylight

You love the day,
worship the light.
You mourn the setting of the sun,
and hide from the night.

I? I curse the light of day,
though most would praise and cheer.
I say if there were no light,
The dark would hold no fear.

How would we feel about the dark
if the harsh bright sun had never shone?
We would not wish for light!
For we would know the dark, alone.

It is the harsh, stark light of day
which makes the dark of night seem cold.
Dark is bad and light is good,
I have always been told.

But without the dark,
what would be the light?
What would a day mean,
if we had no night?

~L.A. Watkins





UNREQUITED

If this world we're in were perfect,
then I would never need leave your side
If this world we're in were perfect,
then in me you would take pride.

Our world is not perfect,
it's rarely even right.
To make your world easier,
I am leaving you tonight.

Perhaps without me, you will do well,
without me you will thrive.
I don't know how I'll do without you
perhaps I will survive.

I know you do not need me,
I know for each other we are wrong.
Even though I know all this,
I'm glad I had you for this long.

For a brief moment I got to hold you,
for a moment, you were mine.
Although that moment is over,
I'll have the memory for all time.

I know this is what's meant.
I hope your life is long and sweet,
and I look forward to the day
when once again we’ll meet.

~L.A. Watkins





Shadows

You see the shadows in my eyes
and want to chase them away
you think you can save me
and baby, I’m so afraid
because I been down this road
I know how it goes
You’ll give me your everything
But those shadows still show

I don’t want to love you
Because I don’t want to break you
I don’t want to see you cry
Really don’t want to make you

You think I’m sad, I need to be loved
Your love will fix me up inside
You think there’s something more
Something that the shadows hide
Someday you’ll realize there’s nothing more
The shadows are all that is there
Your heart will break when you see
And your love will fade in thin air

I don’t want to love you
Because I don’t want to break you
I don’t want to see you cry
Really don’t want to make you

I wish there was something more
Something beautiful hiding underneath
But I know the shadows are in my soul
And when you see that, you’ll leave
You believe in the power of love
Your soul shines so bright
But my shadows are deep,
and won’t be chased away by your light

Why can’t you believe me when I say
These shadows will never, ever go away?
No, babe, these shadows in my soul
They won’t fade, but they’ll swallow you whole
Run, run away and don’t try to save me
Don’t be the hero, please let that be me
I’ll give up any love that you feel
To know that from my darkness, you’re free

I don’t want to love you
Because I don’t want to break you
I don’t want to see you cry
Really don’t want to make you.

~L.A. Watkins