Jokes

My Nephew is six years old, in first grade, and has recently developed a deep and abiding love of telling jokes. Usually he just makes them up as he goes along. His favorite joke at the moment goes something like 'What did the cow say to the farmer?' (You reply: I don't know, what?) 'Moo!'

Once in awhile he starts trying to retell a joke he's heard from his teenage brothers. More often than not this just scares me, because I never know just what kind of joke this was in the first place, but I often suspect it was something he should not have heard and hopefully didn't fully understand.

Every morning, as I'm taking him to school, we listen to a radio program which features a lot of chatter and jokes which are usually mild enough for him. They don't all make sense to him, but they don't all make sense to me, either.

Anyway, the one this morning struck me as particularly funny.


A woman and her daughter spent the day shopping together for the perfect dress for her to wear as mother-of-the bride at the daughter's wedding next month. They had wonderful luck and emerged from the day ecstatic over the purchase, having found "the perfect dress".

The next weekend the daughter visited her dad and the woman he was dating (who was, of course, considerably younger than her mother). She was appalled when her father's girlfriend showed her the dress she was planning to wear to the wedding. It was identical to the one they had just bought for her mother!

The daughter tells the girlfriend what has happened and asks her to return it to the store and choose something else. "I certainly will NOT", the girlfriend replied, "I look absolutely stunning in this dress...it shows off my fabulous figure and the color accentuates my suntan perfectly. No way am I taking it back!"

Heartsick, the daughter broke the bad news to her mother, who responded, "No problem, honey, I'll wear something else. This will be the most special day of your life, and I want it to be absolutely perfect for you."

"Mom, you're the greatest . . . so understanding and supportive. I sure hope you don't have any trouble getting a refund on the dress."

"Oh, I'm not returning the dress", the mother answered. "I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner!"

The radio program is called Radio Caffeine and it airs on 97.3 WDEE (Northern Michigan)

'tis the season

At the moment, I would have to say that the following song by Jackson Browne is my favorite modern Christmas song. It isn't a sacred hymn or a Christmas carol by the standards of most people, but it strikes a chord in me and makes me think. Think about God, think about society, and of course, the reason for the season.

It's available on his Greatest Hits CD, but the version I like the most was recorded with The Chieftains for the 'The Bells of Dublin' CD. This CD is, by the way, my favorite Christmas collection of all time. I suppose my love for traditional Irish music has plenty of influence on that, but there is just something very special about this album. If you get the chance to give it a listen, I highly recommend it.

'The Rebel Jesus' by Jackson Browne

All the streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season
And the merchants windows are all bright
With the faces of the children
And the families hurrying to their homes
As the sky darkens and freezes
Theyll be gathering around the hearths and tales
Giving thanks for all Gods graces
And the birth of the rebel Jesus

Well they call him by the prince of peace
And they call him by the savior
And they pray to him upon the seas
And in every bold endeavor
As they fill his churches with their pride and gold
And their faith in him increases
But theyve turned the nature that I worshipped in
From a temple to a robbers den
In the words of the rebel Jesus

We guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when christmas comes
We give to our relations
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why they are poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus

But please forgive me if I seem
To take the tone of judgement
For Ive no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment
In this life of hardship and of earthly toil
We have need for anything that frees us
So I bid you pleasureAnd I bid you cheer
From a heathen and a pagan
On the side of the rebel Jesus.


What does Christmas mean to you?