Take the leap

We want to be together. Not just a little - not for a visit here or there; a week, two weeks stolen from our real life - he wants me to come there, to England. Maybe next spring or summer. I know, it's fast - we're not making any solid plans, I mean we can't even actually get together for a two week visit until this fall; but it sure feels like we have something special. He wanted to come here, at first, so I didn't have to give anything up in order to be with him but where I live, everyone is moving away because there are no jobs to be had. The town is losing money, people and businesses - not just the town, in fact, but the entire state of Michigan is floundering. I know if I could get a visa I could get a job in the city that would help us afford what we need. Maybe, by then, I'll even be selling some of my writing on a regular basis.

Yesterday he said: 'I am SO going to marry you someday. I'll just keep asking until you say yes' I've looked into immigration laws and there is a visa specifically for people who are from different countries who want to pursue a relationship without actually getting married first and then regretting it, so that's what I'm looking into at the moment. It lasts for three to six months depending on who/where/when. There's still a ton of time, space and paperwork between here and there. A lot of things could change. I don't know where it will all lead, but right now? I'm floating! My head is in the clouds - making plans that seem at the same time completely far-fetched, romantic and fantastical but somehow quite possible and real.

This feeling - like all of my life was somehow just practice, leading me to this point in time when my life is really about to begin - is exciting and terrifying and thrilling and amazing...

The idea of moving to a foreign country, even someplace as familiar and similar as England is very exciting, something I've always thought I wanted; but honestly I can't imagine actually doing it just for my own sake. But for Gav? For him, I think I could do almost anything.

And what a blessing to think that I already have two amazing friends in England who would make adjusting that much easier.

I considered going to England for a year once, doing volunteer work with a church program. My now Ex-husband told me I could never do it; no matter how much I thought I wanted to. At the time that may even have been true. I was a different person, then. It's funny what a difference it makes to have someone who loves you and wants to be with you so much; someone who you love so much that you are willing and able to take a leap of faith.

I'm ready to leap. Y

Love, Love, Love

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything." -Anony.

Challenging myself

I used to be a skinny little thing. I couldn't even donate blood because I didn't weigh enough. I had no idea back then how lucky I was, and how I should have learned to take better care of myself. In the past few years I have greatly increased my size due to a number of reasons; unhappiness in my marriage, clinical depression, a job which involves long hours seated in front of the computer and little to no excuse for exercise. At the moment I am squeezing into a size 12, nearly 170 pounds at 5 feet and 2 inches tall. My measurements have gotten up to Bust38-waist34-hips42 and I have decided that enough is enough.

So I have decided to challenge myself to be a happier, healthier and yes, skinnier me. I know that the health benefits of a better diet and increased exercise will be worth the effort in and of themselves, but the prospect of looking better and maybe fitting into a size ten (or maybe even size 8) again add quite a bit of motivation.

Today I started a routine of Tai Chi exercises; they are low impact but as I went through the twenty minute routine I could feel the way my muscles strained and definitely believe that these will be good for toning the areas of my body which have gotten too soft. I have also started walking a few miles a week as the weather allows and simply trying to remind myself to get up from behind the desk and move around more. Playing with my cats, stretching, and even dancing on occassion as the mood strikes.

As far as the diet is concerned... well, it's only two days after Easter and I gave up chocolate for Lent. I'll start the diet tomorrow. ;)